My hands are full, my eyes are too. I need more limbs, got things to do
More about Me
Banner B ! Banner B !
I like very much!
No Hero in Her Sky
As Always, Tell Me What You Think
Meet Dr. Aisya, PhD in Brown Nosing
testing testing again
Ha ha Nice!
I kinda like it!
Tell Me What You Think
OK Dah
July 2004
August 2004
January 2005
Roti Kawin
Just Write
Grease-Bar
Sioux Launcher
Ikang Kering
Sweet Vitriol
Idlan Zakaria
Mimi Short Circuit
Nadia's so Nutty
Daisy Boo's Bleatings
Elisa Spreads The Jam
Madness of MokcikNab
Motives, movements and melodrama in the life of a thirty something mum.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Banner B ! Banner B !
Well, since I can't see the banner you had put on the masthead -- it still got cut off at the second butterfly. Banner's B good! (To be even safer, you can cut off one more butterfly. Maybe last one. How you make benda tu kaler?
Don't forget to put your name as credit -- template designed by tulisje! or soemthing :)
Well, since I can't see the banner you had put on the masthead -- it still got cut off at the second butterfly. Banner's B good! (To be even safer, you can cut off one more butterfly. Maybe last one. How you make benda tu kaler?
Don't forget to put your name as credit -- template designed by tulisje! or soemthing :)
Monday, January 24, 2005
I like very much!
I like! Thanks so much for working on this Didi. It's much more breezy than the last one. Could you just do away with the jackie O picture though? Maybe can put a small picture of my feet or hands or left corner of my mouth or something?
It looks okay on Mozilla. Tak senget pun. I actually don;t know anyone who reads my blog on a mac, but I guess if it's senget on an Apple, I'll know soon enough.
Too many Aiysha pix? You don't have to put all gambar bebudak tu, can intersperse with other objects; you know, the usual leaf, pebble, sunset, clouds, roast chicken with creamed potatoes, that kind of thing.
Don't have gambar abang ichai, meh. Can you put in butterflies? I love butterflies. Or dragon flies.
I like! Thanks so much for working on this Didi. It's much more breezy than the last one. Could you just do away with the jackie O picture though? Maybe can put a small picture of my feet or hands or left corner of my mouth or something?
It looks okay on Mozilla. Tak senget pun. I actually don;t know anyone who reads my blog on a mac, but I guess if it's senget on an Apple, I'll know soon enough.
Too many Aiysha pix? You don't have to put all gambar bebudak tu, can intersperse with other objects; you know, the usual leaf, pebble, sunset, clouds, roast chicken with creamed potatoes, that kind of thing.
Don't have gambar abang ichai, meh. Can you put in butterflies? I love butterflies. Or dragon flies.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
No Hero in Her Sky
And So it Is, the man sings at the beginning of the film. And so it is, that I have to write about "Closer" because Saiffuddin is so sick of arguing out the meaning of the story with me.
So now, I argue with you, yes?
First, you have to have seen the film. It's quite unlikely that Closer will see a general screening in Malaysia because of the adult content, and most importantly, because it's talky and cinema operators know the larger part of the population would not pay nine bucks to hear dialogue. Therefore, if you haven't already, I suggest you watch Closer in the comforts of your own sofa. (How? Cannot tell la, lest I get a bullet ricochet into my left shoulder while I'm eating kuay teow kari)
This is not a movie to hold hands over, and if you're going through issues in your current relationship, maybe you should skip Closer and watch something more reassuring, like "Meet the Fockers", for instance. (That's the mokcik talking) I won't attempt to review the film, you'll find better pundits elsewhere on the net. Like this one from the Rolling Stones.
Okay, here lies the point of no return. If you're reading beyond this paragraph, I will assume you have watched the film. Be forewarned, there will be spoilers.
My husband thinks I am reacting to Closer the same way I reacted to The English Patient, because I couldn't stop thinking about the story for days. There is a fundamental difference : like most women, I fell in love with all the characters in the Ondaatje novel, and subsequent film. In Closer, it is impossible to have a modicum of fondness for any of the people who inhabit the screen. Here are four people who utimately want not love, but control, or perhaps love they could control.
Here's the thing : we all want the kind of love we could control.
Anna, Alice, Dan and Larry may be reprehensible but what scared me was how familiar were the tricks that they turn, in order to reign over the one they love (or think they love). Okay, maybe not many of us would think of cross-merchandising when it comes to married acquaintances, but I think Philip Marber contrived the situation in order to illustrate a point.
It's the little, little things that get me. Alice and Dan attend Anna's exhibition, after which Dan is supposed to take a train to his father's funeral. Alice is not allowed to accompany him. They leave to take seperate cabs, she tells him to take the first one, "because you'll be late for your train". It seems kindly, but you know what she's doing - she wants to ensure that he actually gets on the train and not turn round and walk into Anna's arms. To a lesser extent, I own up to doing something similar -- suggest something that appears to be in my husband's best interest, because I want a certain outcome.
When you know you have influence over your loved one, how many times have you used that influence to get things done your way? Me? I do it on a daily basis -- from mundane things like getting the first go at the loo in the morning, to big decisions like the purchase of a car.
When you know a person like the back of your hand, how many times have you exploited that knowledge? Saiffuddin, for example, can second-guess me with unnerving accuracy, and "anticipation is what makes a great servant", said Mr Stevens in Kazuo Ishiguro's Remains of the Day. Saiffuddin is an extremely attentive husband, but is it only because he knows it makes him utterly indispensable?
In the film, Larry reminds his adulterous wife, Anna that he's "always kind", and when she compliments him on being wonderful, he tells her, with a smile, never to forget it. Larry peddles kindness, and extracts guilt from that kindness, if you can call it that, to ensnare Anna. In the end, Anna stays with her husband, despite having the option to a Jude Law who "tastes sweeter".
When we go through great lengths to please our significant other, are we doing it out of love, or out of our need to retain that love? Don't we always expect something in return? In my marriage, there certainly is an imaginary ledger of favours taken and promises to be encashed -- in a year, within a month, next week, by the end of the day.
Within the scope of this largesse, the biggest obligations are almost always about sex. In Closer, sex is a weapon, a shield, a tool, a bargaining chip. Stripped to its essence, this is what sex is in a marriage, or in any relationship. "Do you love me because you desire me?" is a question more sinister than "Do you think she's prettier?", because yes is at once, an answer you want and don't want.
Are the calculative characters in Closer, too close to home? Is that why I can't stop the images from churning and churning, long past finis? To me, it was a film that deconstructed the post-modern liaison, and the cruelty was a composite of the nastiness that, unfortunately, exists to a smaller or larger extent, in a subsisting relationship.
Saiffuddin of course, thinks I'm wrong about the film. In bits and pieces, there is always you in every story, he says. In bits and pieces, you could identify yourself with either Mussolini or Mother Teresa.
"Look at the whole picture", he explained, "it has a very moral tone". Really? Hard to believe when you have Queen Amidala doing a split beaver in a strip tease joint.
Saiffuddin didn't think that the characters represented EveryMan and his EveryWoman. "They're abnormal. People don't love like that". (Welcome to KL, I said)
The aim of Closer, according to my husband, is to illustrate that love has to be about selfless sacrifice. At the end of the film, Dan revisits a shrine dedicated to ordinary people who performed heroic acts, a place where he and Alice walked by when they first met. It was then that he relised that "Alice" was not her real name after all, but an epithet plucked from the dozens of epitaphs lined up on the wall. It so happened that the Alice she picked, gave up her life to save three children. Strangers.
"Now juxtapose this with Anna, Alice, Dan and Larry, who knows nothing of sacrifice, because they think it's cool and hip to be self absorbed. This is set in Britain, and old, old state, where sacrifice, not lies, used to be the common currency. You were expected to die for God, King and Country. To be selfish is such an anomaly".
Okay, that could work. Won't stop me from thinking about the movie, though. Damien Rice sings in my head and I wonder if I'm sacrificing or sacrificial. Or a pupil in denial.
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
And So it Is, the man sings at the beginning of the film. And so it is, that I have to write about "Closer" because Saiffuddin is so sick of arguing out the meaning of the story with me.
So now, I argue with you, yes?
First, you have to have seen the film. It's quite unlikely that Closer will see a general screening in Malaysia because of the adult content, and most importantly, because it's talky and cinema operators know the larger part of the population would not pay nine bucks to hear dialogue. Therefore, if you haven't already, I suggest you watch Closer in the comforts of your own sofa. (How? Cannot tell la, lest I get a bullet ricochet into my left shoulder while I'm eating kuay teow kari)
This is not a movie to hold hands over, and if you're going through issues in your current relationship, maybe you should skip Closer and watch something more reassuring, like "Meet the Fockers", for instance. (That's the mokcik talking) I won't attempt to review the film, you'll find better pundits elsewhere on the net. Like this one from the Rolling Stones.
Okay, here lies the point of no return. If you're reading beyond this paragraph, I will assume you have watched the film. Be forewarned, there will be spoilers.
My husband thinks I am reacting to Closer the same way I reacted to The English Patient, because I couldn't stop thinking about the story for days. There is a fundamental difference : like most women, I fell in love with all the characters in the Ondaatje novel, and subsequent film. In Closer, it is impossible to have a modicum of fondness for any of the people who inhabit the screen. Here are four people who utimately want not love, but control, or perhaps love they could control.
Here's the thing : we all want the kind of love we could control.
Anna, Alice, Dan and Larry may be reprehensible but what scared me was how familiar were the tricks that they turn, in order to reign over the one they love (or think they love). Okay, maybe not many of us would think of cross-merchandising when it comes to married acquaintances, but I think Philip Marber contrived the situation in order to illustrate a point.
It's the little, little things that get me. Alice and Dan attend Anna's exhibition, after which Dan is supposed to take a train to his father's funeral. Alice is not allowed to accompany him. They leave to take seperate cabs, she tells him to take the first one, "because you'll be late for your train". It seems kindly, but you know what she's doing - she wants to ensure that he actually gets on the train and not turn round and walk into Anna's arms. To a lesser extent, I own up to doing something similar -- suggest something that appears to be in my husband's best interest, because I want a certain outcome.
When you know you have influence over your loved one, how many times have you used that influence to get things done your way? Me? I do it on a daily basis -- from mundane things like getting the first go at the loo in the morning, to big decisions like the purchase of a car.
When you know a person like the back of your hand, how many times have you exploited that knowledge? Saiffuddin, for example, can second-guess me with unnerving accuracy, and "anticipation is what makes a great servant", said Mr Stevens in Kazuo Ishiguro's Remains of the Day. Saiffuddin is an extremely attentive husband, but is it only because he knows it makes him utterly indispensable?
In the film, Larry reminds his adulterous wife, Anna that he's "always kind", and when she compliments him on being wonderful, he tells her, with a smile, never to forget it. Larry peddles kindness, and extracts guilt from that kindness, if you can call it that, to ensnare Anna. In the end, Anna stays with her husband, despite having the option to a Jude Law who "tastes sweeter".
When we go through great lengths to please our significant other, are we doing it out of love, or out of our need to retain that love? Don't we always expect something in return? In my marriage, there certainly is an imaginary ledger of favours taken and promises to be encashed -- in a year, within a month, next week, by the end of the day.
Within the scope of this largesse, the biggest obligations are almost always about sex. In Closer, sex is a weapon, a shield, a tool, a bargaining chip. Stripped to its essence, this is what sex is in a marriage, or in any relationship. "Do you love me because you desire me?" is a question more sinister than "Do you think she's prettier?", because yes is at once, an answer you want and don't want.
Are the calculative characters in Closer, too close to home? Is that why I can't stop the images from churning and churning, long past finis? To me, it was a film that deconstructed the post-modern liaison, and the cruelty was a composite of the nastiness that, unfortunately, exists to a smaller or larger extent, in a subsisting relationship.
Saiffuddin of course, thinks I'm wrong about the film. In bits and pieces, there is always you in every story, he says. In bits and pieces, you could identify yourself with either Mussolini or Mother Teresa.
"Look at the whole picture", he explained, "it has a very moral tone". Really? Hard to believe when you have Queen Amidala doing a split beaver in a strip tease joint.
Saiffuddin didn't think that the characters represented EveryMan and his EveryWoman. "They're abnormal. People don't love like that". (Welcome to KL, I said)
The aim of Closer, according to my husband, is to illustrate that love has to be about selfless sacrifice. At the end of the film, Dan revisits a shrine dedicated to ordinary people who performed heroic acts, a place where he and Alice walked by when they first met. It was then that he relised that "Alice" was not her real name after all, but an epithet plucked from the dozens of epitaphs lined up on the wall. It so happened that the Alice she picked, gave up her life to save three children. Strangers.
"Now juxtapose this with Anna, Alice, Dan and Larry, who knows nothing of sacrifice, because they think it's cool and hip to be self absorbed. This is set in Britain, and old, old state, where sacrifice, not lies, used to be the common currency. You were expected to die for God, King and Country. To be selfish is such an anomaly".
Okay, that could work. Won't stop me from thinking about the movie, though. Damien Rice sings in my head and I wonder if I'm sacrificing or sacrificial. Or a pupil in denial.
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky
Friday, January 21, 2005
As Always, Tell Me What You Think
I think it looks kinda cool!
Please comment on: font color, border color, everything else.
Also, tell me if it's senget in Mozilla. If you know anybody who has a Mac, ask that person to check your site too, just to see if the fonts came out ok, and the color and the kotak turned out right.
The size of the blog will adjust depending on the size of the window. If you maximize your window, the blog will "stretch" out a bit more. Frankly, I think it looks best when the window is minimized a bit.
I'll add in StatCounter and Haloscan when you confirm the layout.
I added two extra pictures on the banner, to make it a little bit panjang. I think your kids looks great on the new layout :) And Abang Ichai too.
I think it looks kinda cool!
Please comment on: font color, border color, everything else.
Also, tell me if it's senget in Mozilla. If you know anybody who has a Mac, ask that person to check your site too, just to see if the fonts came out ok, and the color and the kotak turned out right.
The size of the blog will adjust depending on the size of the window. If you maximize your window, the blog will "stretch" out a bit more. Frankly, I think it looks best when the window is minimized a bit.
I'll add in StatCounter and Haloscan when you confirm the layout.
I added two extra pictures on the banner, to make it a little bit panjang. I think your kids looks great on the new layout :) And Abang Ichai too.
Meet Dr. Aisya, PhD in Brown Nosing
WARNING : Gloating mommy ahead. Should nausea develop, stop reading immediately.
Aiysha is my second child, and today is her second day in primary school. She's gotten into the swing of things, by the looks of it. She came home by bus, dropped her bag by the door, and sang me a song she learnt in class.
"Puan Raisa taught me the song! We learnt it during English. Oh, she asked if anyone wants to introduce themselves, and I put up my hand!"
I can just imagine Aiysha doing this with gumption, for it is not without reason that she earned the moniker Ms Eager McBeaver from her cousin, Ilham.
"You know, Mummy, I said my name is Aiysha, I'm six years old and I live in XXXXX", Ms McBeaver tells me, eyes wide as saucers, " and I said it loudly, so that everyone can hear, because all the other kids said it so softly", here she crinkles her nose in disdain, "and I don't want to be like that"
"Good for you!", I said, although I'm not sure she needed any more encouragement.
"And I asked Puan Siti Aminah, my class teacher, if she needed any help when I saw her carrying so many books. She was so nice to me, Mummy. We had a nice chat ".
Oh, wait till Adam hears this. Puan Siti Aminah was also Adam's class teacher in Primary One, and I'm sure she made him stand on his chair more than once.
"I also helped Amir", she announced. "I helped him buy some chicken nuggets in the canteen". Amir was my neighbour's grandson and yesterday he wouldn't let go of his mom's hand. He's relatively small and wears a worried look, traits that automatically puts Aiysha in Big Sister mode.
"Kesian dia, Mummy", Aiysha explained, "He was hungry but he didn't want half of my tuna sandwich, and there were so many big kids just fighting to buy food".
Okay, I have admit, that made me rather proud. I also have to admit, if I had known an Aiysha in school I would have rolled my eyes and called her a show-off. But you learn to appreciate the fine line between self-confidence and swagger when it's your own daughter, I guess.
I'm hoping she would be able to match the brown-nosing with real academic work, so that can she can actually achieve that"Doctor" in front of her name. On certain days, she insists on being addressed as Princess Dr Aiysha, because, you know, she's a dentist and a Barbie royalty.
"I want to be a dentist, Daddy", she declared to Saiffuddin, " because they make more money than engineers". I think she ought to try for public office.
WARNING : Gloating mommy ahead. Should nausea develop, stop reading immediately.
Aiysha is my second child, and today is her second day in primary school. She's gotten into the swing of things, by the looks of it. She came home by bus, dropped her bag by the door, and sang me a song she learnt in class.
"Puan Raisa taught me the song! We learnt it during English. Oh, she asked if anyone wants to introduce themselves, and I put up my hand!"
I can just imagine Aiysha doing this with gumption, for it is not without reason that she earned the moniker Ms Eager McBeaver from her cousin, Ilham.
"You know, Mummy, I said my name is Aiysha, I'm six years old and I live in XXXXX", Ms McBeaver tells me, eyes wide as saucers, " and I said it loudly, so that everyone can hear, because all the other kids said it so softly", here she crinkles her nose in disdain, "and I don't want to be like that"
"Good for you!", I said, although I'm not sure she needed any more encouragement.
"And I asked Puan Siti Aminah, my class teacher, if she needed any help when I saw her carrying so many books. She was so nice to me, Mummy. We had a nice chat ".
Oh, wait till Adam hears this. Puan Siti Aminah was also Adam's class teacher in Primary One, and I'm sure she made him stand on his chair more than once.
"I also helped Amir", she announced. "I helped him buy some chicken nuggets in the canteen". Amir was my neighbour's grandson and yesterday he wouldn't let go of his mom's hand. He's relatively small and wears a worried look, traits that automatically puts Aiysha in Big Sister mode.
"Kesian dia, Mummy", Aiysha explained, "He was hungry but he didn't want half of my tuna sandwich, and there were so many big kids just fighting to buy food".
Okay, I have admit, that made me rather proud. I also have to admit, if I had known an Aiysha in school I would have rolled my eyes and called her a show-off. But you learn to appreciate the fine line between self-confidence and swagger when it's your own daughter, I guess.
I'm hoping she would be able to match the brown-nosing with real academic work, so that can she can actually achieve that"Doctor" in front of her name. On certain days, she insists on being addressed as Princess Dr Aiysha, because, you know, she's a dentist and a Barbie royalty.
"I want to be a dentist, Daddy", she declared to Saiffuddin, " because they make more money than engineers". I think she ought to try for public office.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
testing testing again
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Ha ha Nice!
Can! Charcoal is darker grey, no? Very sophisticated, I think, this look. Now, how do I migrate this to my mokciknab blog?
Can! Charcoal is darker grey, no? Very sophisticated, I think, this look. Now, how do I migrate this to my mokciknab blog?
Monday, July 19, 2004
I kinda like it!
Yeah!
Could you just change the white into charcoal? Even though its not pink, it does make me sakit mata a bit. But otherwise, it's perfect! And perhaps you could change the titles ie the Madness redux and the Motives melodrama etc into white/light grey? I think its easier to see than black. And you'll add a counter right?
Can teach me aaah how to do this? And are u coming back for Raya or not?
Yeah!
Could you just change the white into charcoal? Even though its not pink, it does make me sakit mata a bit. But otherwise, it's perfect! And perhaps you could change the titles ie the Madness redux and the Motives melodrama etc into white/light grey? I think its easier to see than black. And you'll add a counter right?
Can teach me aaah how to do this? And are u coming back for Raya or not?
Tell Me What You Think
Does it look weird?
I just realized that all this while I've been viewing the blog on a slightly smaller window than normal, and when you maximize the window, the boxes all go senget. Will fix this later.
Anyway, all I need to know is what you think of the colors. Does it "go"? It used to be a pink background, but then that made it look a bit frou-frou so I changed it to white aje. Let me know what you don't like.
Cheers!
Does it look weird?
I just realized that all this while I've been viewing the blog on a slightly smaller window than normal, and when you maximize the window, the boxes all go senget. Will fix this later.
Anyway, all I need to know is what you think of the colors. Does it "go"? It used to be a pink background, but then that made it look a bit frou-frou so I changed it to white aje. Let me know what you don't like.
Cheers!